A Blessing In Disguise

So did anybody else see Saturday Night Live last night? That was some pretty hilarious stuff! Frankly, I didnt know if I'd be able to make it because I get so tired these days and I usually fall asleep around 10 or 11. I know that still sounds late, but I used to not be able to fall asleep until 2 or sometimes even 4 am! Ridiculous. 

It's insane how this pregnancy is sucking the energy right out of me. I have to say that I feel lame sometimes, compared to what I was like before. I can do 2 loads of laundry and I get exhausted from bending over and reaching up. I walk for 10 minutes and I'm already breathless. I know that sounds so stupid but seriously - that's how it is. There are some parts of this pregnancy that have been amazing - the ultrasounds, hearing the heartbeat, and feeling her kick. Amazing and emotional moments for sure. But honestly, it's mostly been a pain. I was insanely sick for so long. I physically ache and hurt a lot and I'm not even in the 3rd trimester yet. I have a tough time sleeping and I'm so uncomfortable. I dont think I have that "glow" about me that people sometimes say pregnant women have. And I could go on. BUT, I am so so so soooooo thankful that I get to experience this, despite everything. I know of so many women (including my amazing grandmother) who can not have children. I feel for those ladies so much. If I couldnt have kids, I would be devastated. There's something so special about being able to create something so fantastic as a human life between you and the person you love - your other half. I think it's amazing to see parts of both you and your significant other come out in a child. I've known that I've always wanted kid(s) but until I actually got to this point, I didnt realize so many things. Certain things didnt hit me until this actually came about. You always hear everything that is entailed in a pregnancy, delivery, and responsibility and joy in taking care of and raising a child, but you dont really know until you're in it. 

So while I dont think pregnancy suits me like it does some women, I feel so blessed that I get to have this opportunity and say that I experienced carrying someone and bringing life into this world. I give thanks every day of this pregnancy that everything is going so well - I can only hope it remains that way through the whole thing. Wow - I really still cant believe that I'm here, that Tony and I are here together, and in just 3 1/2 months we will have our baby girl!