3.30.2010

Goo Goo for GAGA

I'm FINALLY getting to go to a Lady Gaga concert!!!!!! You have no idea how excited I am. But it was a pain getting tickets. Ugh. I have loved Lady Gaga's music since I first heard it in the spring of 2008 when I stumbled across "Just Dance" on YouTube. I loved it so much (I like any songs about dancing) that by the summer I went and purchased her album. I loved every single song. I knew then that I had just found one of my all time favorite singers. As a rule of thumb, I never ever buy a CD unless I like 5 or more songs on it. Of course, I ended up liking every single song, my favorite being "Paparazzi." It's even my ringback tone. Lady Gaga then started to get really popular, eventually leading to 5 number 1 hit singles. When she announced her tour last year, I wanted to go sooo bad! But of course, the closest one to me was in Las Vegas. With my limited time off work, it was too hard to go. I was really bummed out. But then she announced another unexpected leg of her tour and lo and behold, she would be in PORTLAND, OREGON in August of this year!!!!!!! How convenient is it that I am scheduled to move back there next month?!?


Well, that settled it. I HAD to get tickets. I went online the day they went on sale and they were going so fast I hardly had any time to even play with the system. I knew I didn't want floor tickets [I'm kind of past that whole mosh pit stage] but I didn't want nosebleed seats either. I was hoping for the 200 level at the Rose Quarter. But those went quick. By
the time I had my hands on anything, it was either the highest 300 level seats at $85 a ticket or $175 tickets for the 100 level. Well.....I weighed it out [with the 5 minute countdown ticking away in the corner...] I went to a lot of concerts when I lived in Oregon. I haven't been to ANY since I moved to Durango almost 2 years ago. She's one of the few that I would actually pay my own money to go see right now. And I read in the reviews that it's more of a show this time around instead of a concert, and I love that. So I guess it's no surprise that I bought the better tickets, huh? :) $400 later and this better be a darn good concert! Oh well, happy birthday to me!!

3.26.2010

Happiness


My family left yesterday =( It was awesome having them here. It was their first time here so Tony and I got to show them all around. We did a lot of fun stuff. I miss them already!! The meeting of the families went way better than I thought it would, to be honest. But everyone got along really nicely and that makes me happy. We had such a fun time with Josh and Lia. We went down town, tried out a bunch of restaurants, went shopping, went to the skate park, rode around on bikes and raced remote control cars, went bowling, went to the movies, played games, and so much more!


I'm so glad we are going to be closer to them. And SOON! Tony and I leave in ONE WEEK! Can you believe it?? I know I will be sad; I've made this my home for the last 2 years. I will miss this awesome town. I will miss all the really great friends I made. But this move is the best thing for Tony and I right now. We really need to get away from an awful situation here and try to do better up in Oregon. And no matter what stresses and troubles we may go through, I have a feeling that we will be just fine.

We got confirmation on the town house we wanted!!! We are officially moving into Springwater Crossing. It's a new establishment so everything is modern and updated, which is nice. We have a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath town house with a garage attached. So all you Durango folk can come visit us anytime because we will have plenty of room!!! We're getting more and more bites on the job front and things are just looking good right now. I can't wait to see all my friends and family when I get up there. I also can't wait to continue planning our wedding! It will be so much fun now that Tony can be directly involved as well.

Speaking of weddings...I got my ring! He gave it to me right before my parents got here. I was so surprised. It's absolutely gorgeous! It's so unique and I'm delighted with what he chose. It makes it even more special to me because he chose it.


So that's it for now. We've got one week left to wrap everything up. We are just packing like crazy, trying to wrap up everything at work, and seeing everyone before we leave. We have a going away dinner planned the night before we leave so we will get to say good bye to all our friends then. And then we will see them at the wedding (because a lot of you are in it)! Here's to a nice end with a wonderful beginning - and a safe trip!

3.13.2010

CRUISIN!

So Tony called me down to his work today because he had to show me something. We are in the process of getting a new couch so I thought he was having me come down there to take a look at a couple of options. But no! He had gotten me a cruiser bike! I've wanted one for like the last year but something else always came up and then winter came around so I pushed it off to the side for a while. He told me he got it for me as an "engagement present." HAHA - I love it! It's so cute and I haven't seen one like it yet so I was excited. We will be getting a basket for the front soon, too :)

3.08.2010

You are the thunder and I am the lightning

You are the thunder and I am the lightning,
And I love the way you know who you are,
And to me it's exciting,
When you know it's meant to be,
Everything comes naturally.


Exciting news! Tony and I are ENGAGED! It's so funny that I just wrote a blog on our story last time and where we were at and now we are engaged! I can't tell you how much that 8 month break was needed for us to realize that we were better off together. Back in early 2008 when I first started talking to him, I just had this feeling that we would end up together. It was such a strong feeling that I HAD to trust it. I'd never had it before - sure, I had loved other people and entertained ideas of a future with one, but with Tony, it's like I didn't even have to consider it. I just knew. We talked every single night for 5 months and then we finally met. We started "officially" dating when he came to Oregon for the first time and we remained together for 8 months. Then we had our 8 month break to figure out some things and got back together last October. So we've been back together for 5 months now and by the time we get married, we will have been together for 1 year and 10 days (not counting the first 8 months). So all together, we will have been by each others side for about 2 years and known each other for almost 3.

Let me tell you how he did it.

Last week, we were hanging out watching movies and stuff and then he went home. I went in to my bedroom to go to bed and there was a card that he had made sitting on my pillow. It was entitled "Love in Cloud 9" and it proceeded to tell me how he couldn't be happier with me and it just fits when we're together. Really cute stuff. [I love that sappy romantic stuff and I can't even begin to tell you how much I love homemade cards!] Well, then on Friday, when we got home from our day of remembering Aimee (his mom who died last year in March), I walk into my room only to find a bottle of sparkling cranberry juice and another made-for-me card. He had drawn a few daisies on the front and he entitled it "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not," which, indeed, when you counted the petals, always fell on "He Loves Me." Inside the card, he proceeded to tell me just how much he loves me and that he can see all his future endeavors with me including having kids. He stated that he wanted to be the one to stand by my side for the rest of our lives and that he knows he's not perfect but he hopes that the love has has for me can make up for that. Then, at the end, he said, "I'm really liking the date 10.10.10." Which, for those of you who are close to me and know me very well - this is the date that I have WANTED to get married on for a very long time. I always thought it would be awesome. You see, I have this thing with odd numbers - I can't stand them. I eat M&M's in twos, when I'm reading I have to leave off on an even-numbered page, and when I get married, it's got to be on an even-numbered day. And to top it all off, October is my favorite month and I always thught it would be nice to get married during that month. When the 2000's hit, I thought of 10.10.10 and constantly mentioned how it would be awesome to be married on that date. Well, Tony is making my dreams come true!

I realize that it is only about 7 months away, but we can do it. When I started planning my wedding to him last time, I was able to find stuff that I loved and wanted. Those things haven't changed. It's really just a matter of reserving everything now. And I have to admit, I was very worried about the place because you should book it a ways in advance and I had fallen in love with this cute little place in Oregon City last time... I took a chance and contacted the owner who I had met last time and told him I would still love to get married there. I told him the date and that I realized that it may already be taken but I thought I would ask. He then told me that it was STILL AVAILABLE!!!!! He told me that not only would he transfer my $1,000 deposit from last time over to this time (kind of as a postponement), but that we would get another $1,000 off for having it on a Sunday AND that he would give us ANOTHER $500 off to help us have more to our wedding. In his words: "I hope the $1500 off can help you with the planning of your perfect wedding - you have certainly waited long enough for it!!" He is such a nice person and they are very willing and helpful for all your needs. He also told me that the wedding planner will be in touch with me next week to get started (when you reserve a date here at this place, you automatically get a wedding planner included)! You have no idea how excited I am.

I will post pictures of the ring when I get it - it's still being put together. Tony was having something done with it to make it unique so I'm stoked to see what he's thought of this time! In case you are wondering, it is NOT the ring he gave me the first time. He said that we need a fresh start all around, which is the purpose of the new ring. But when I get it, you know pictures will be posted!!! What I also find cool is that not only am I getting married in October, but my sister is getting married in August, and my best friend is getting married in July!!!! WOW!

This is an exciting year and I think it will be 100 times better than last year!!! Check out what's already happened and what is yet to come:
~ I threw Tony a surprise birthday party with all of our friends and he loved it.
~ Tony got me a day at the spa for Valentine's Day and then he took me to a movie [Valentine's Day] and a fancy dinner at Mutu's.
~ WE GOT ENGAGED!!!
~ My family is coming at the end of this month (March) to visit for Spring Break.
~ Tony and I are both quitting our jobs and moving to Oregon before June!
~ We are going on a vacation FINALLY for the 2 of us to Orlando to visit all the theme parks [Disney World, Epcot, Disney MGM, Animal Kingdom, and both Universal Studios parks] in either May or June!
~ We are moving into a nice town house [which we plan on purchasing and living there until we find a house that we love and then we will move into there and rent out the townhouse as extra income].
~ We are getting new jobs and it will be a nice change of pace to have some time off and more of a regular schedule so that we can spend time with our loved ones.
~ Kimberly [my best friend] is getting married in July and I'm her maid of honor!
~ My sister, Tera, is getting married in August at Wallowa Lake!
~ I turn 22 in August.
~ I get MARRIED in October!!!!!
** Plus getting to do all the holidays with my family this year will be amazing and the fact that Tony gets to partake in all the festivities is such a blessing.

Okay, I think I've rambled quite enough - if anyone has any questions or comments, feel free to tell me!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3.03.2010

Everything happens for a reason

Deep down, I was scared to death to move to Durango. I have lived in Oregon my whole life. Heck, I had never even been to Colorado! But the one thing that kept me going was my love for Tony. A love so true, I felt it could have the power to get us through anything.

When I first arrived, his family was very welcoming and appreciative. They were so happy that Tony had found someone he truly cherished. I was told a number of times that Tony was different, a GOOD different, since he found me. I remember feeling very honored that I was the girl that did that for him. Tony and I moved into his grandparent's old house because they had just bought a brand new house and we needed a place to live. It was a nice house but way too big for just 2 people. My brother, Travis, was actually flying in the next week because he needed a job and Tony's family offered him one if he wanted it. He decided to take a chance with me. So Tony and I basically lived upstairs and Travis lived downstairs. It was plenty of room for all of us. I started working at the Ramada (Tony's family owns a number of hotels, stores, property, etc) as a front desk clerk. After a short while, they transferred me over to the Travelodge because they were short there. I proceeded to work there for a while. Tony and I were having a great time. We were buying furniture and items for the household, I was meeting all of his friends and getting to know them more, I was planning my wedding, and I had a fun job that I liked where I met some pretty cool people. In October 2008, we adopted our first black and white kitty and we named her Ainslee. She was 2 years old when we got her.


Something else that was very exciting also happened in October: I finally got my own car!! And to top it off, it was the EXACT car that I had wanted for a while! It was nice to see a bright red Corolla S sitting in our driveway! I felt so proud.


In November, I got to go on my very first cruise. The Hermesman's had invited me to go during the summer and I was ecstatic to attend. It was a Caribbean cruise where we took off from Miami and visited Grand Turk, Half Moon Cay, and Nassau in the Bahamas. I got pretty seasick my first day but after that, I had a lot of fun! I'm so glad I got to do some traveling!


When we got back from our vacation, I was told that they needed someone to work over at one of the local hotels, the Alpine Inn. So Tony and I decided to move into the apartment attached to the hotel and run the business. I started working there on December 1st and I'm still currently employed here. Occasionally I have been called to cover at our sister hotel, the Abbey Inn. Well, with the stress of having to work 8o hours a week, each with different jobs and helping each other out sometimes, moving in to a new place, planning a wedding from a different state (we had planned to have it in Oregon), and everything else going on, we cracked. It just wasn't working anymore. We were too stressed. We had to go through so much more in the first few months of our relationship than a lot of couples do. It wasn't anything either of us did, WE just weren't meshing.

So we broke up.

Tony moved out and I continued to work and run the Alpine Inn. Don't get me wrong, it was incredibly hard to recover at first. Here I was, living in a different state, away from my family and close friends, working for my now ex-boyfriend's family. It was tough. Certainly. But I picked myself up and stayed strong. I started doing a lot of things for myself, like picking back up running, taking a yoga class, hanging out with friends I had made here, and working. I worked a lot - it was very exhausting. Sometimes it drove me insane being at the hotel all day and I craved those moments when I could go out with my friends.


Then Shaun came into my life. I met Shaun when I first worked at the Ramada. He was the one who trained me. We clicked immediately. It was nothing more than a friendship - I was totally in love with Tony - but we got along great. We had always kept in touch but one night after Tony and I had been broken up for a while, Shaun asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I picked "He's Just Not That Into You," a choice that I thought was quite appropriate for what I was feeling and going through at the time. We ended up talking more and more and seeing each other more and more. And one day it just happened - we were a couple. It felt right, like something fit. We had a lot of fun together and we had so many things in common. And he was spontaneous, which I loved. Whew - what an amazing guy. We spent a lot of time together and I fit in really well with his family. In May, Shaun and I decided to take a weekend trip to Phoenix to look at some job opportunities and to have some fun. Well, fun turned into tragedy when Shaun happened to pass away on the last day we were there. Absolutely devastating to me. I was stuck in Phoenix by myself - my boyfriend had just died, all I had was his car and all of our belongings. I didn't know the Phoenix area at all. So after having the shock and trauma of being there for everything, I had to drive 8 hours back and work the next day. It was rough. Really rough. I'm so thankful I had everyone at home praying for me and supporting me in any way they could. I'm extremely grateful for my dad coming out to Durango for Shaun's funeral. That meant a lot to me. After everything was done, I tried to get back to some sort of normal semblance. I worked too much to really have time for anything else. I tried to take time off on my birthday, but that plan went down the drain after my bosses turned the tables on me. I did not have the 21st birthday that I always wanted to remember. It hurt even more because Shaun was planning to take me to Vegas so I could see Criss Angel (whom I adore) and ride the rides to celebrate a big birthday. But I put it our of my mind and continued to work.

Then someone came back into my life unexpectedly: Tony. It's not that he wasn't there, but even though Durango is a small town, we hardly ever saw each other. But he was there for me. He helped me a lot after Shaun. All of a sudden, it started going in a familiar direction - and on October 1, 2009 he asked if I would be his girlfriend again. He wrote me this amazing letter describing his feelings and so I talked with him - for a VERY long time, before making a decision. After talking and seeing how he had changed and his thoughts on things, I could see that he was very sincere in what he was asking. So I said yes. Something inside me screamed that we were meant to be together. I always felt like Tony was my missing piece in my puzzle of life. I feel like what happened with Shaun was supposed to happen. His mom constantly tells me how happy she was that he had someone with him and that he was so happy when he died. She couldn't ask for anything more. And even though it did a number on me, I'm glad that he felt that way and that I could give him that.

Tony and I have been back together for 5 months now. We had an 8 month break and we still ended up together. Our relationship is VERY strong. Stronger than ever now. We have seen what happened in our past relationship and we are making it a point to do things differently now. In the time we were apart, we both grew in lots of ways. We both went and did our own thing and gained back our sense of independence. We both experienced and grieved the death of loved ones (his mom and and my boyfriend). And yet - we were always in the backs of each others minds.

He IS my Prince Charming.




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The start of something new

If there's one thing that I've always been sure of, it's that I want nothing more in this world then to get married and have kids. If I can only accomplish one thing, that's what I want to do. Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of my wedding day. You have no idea how many times I have run through in my head how it would go. I am always watching wedding shows and specials to get ideas. I love GOING to weddings. I just feel happy when I'm at one. But as much as I have fun planning and thinking of fun little ideas, it wouldn't be perfect without my Prince Charming. None of it would be worth it if he weren't the one standing up there with me.

A little over 2 years ago, I found him.

In February 2008, I was doing a paper for my Writing class in college. It was on a recent trend that had become popular. I chose internet dating. So I did some research. I went on match.com, chemistry.com, and of course, the ever popular eHarmony.com. Now, I have always bashed these sites because I thought there was no way an internet program could REALLY match you up with the love of your life. Regardless, I decided to fill out the profile so I could get more information on how the thing really worked. It was a very detailed process. At the end of it, they send you some matches. They don't slam you with a million matches either; I got seven. I was allowed to look at their profile but I couldn't see their pictures or talk to them without subscribing and of course, there was no way I was going to do that. I wasn't looking for love...I had just got out of a relationship that I really thought was going somewhere, only to find out he was cheating on me the whole time. I wasn't really in the mood for boys, I guess you could say. So I got my statistics and logged off. I checked my email the next day and found an email from eHarmony stating that the next 3 days were going to be a free communication weekend. Soooo, my curiousity got the best of me and I logged back on to the dating website. I had a few messages and decided there was no harm in reading them. I started talking to this one guy: Tony, 21, from Durango, CO. I had never even heard of Durango before. But after reading his profile, I found we really did have a lot in common. So I told him to find me on Myspace and we could talk there. Kind of cheating the system, I know, but it was the only way I could keep talking to him. Well, we talked online for the rest of that month, then we started texting. At the end of March, he randomly called me for the first time during his lunch break. I was totally surprised and not expecting it and so I held the phone for a minute, just staring blankly at it. I knew I had to answer and I'm so glad I did. Immediately we could talk like we'd known each other for years. He had to eventually go back to work, but he called later that night. And every night after that without fail. He would always wait until after 9 PM (10 PM his time) so that we could talk for free. We would talk for hours. We had amazing conversations. He ended up getting time off from work and he told me he would be driving up to Oregon, a place he'd never been to, to meet me, a girl he didn't know. Except..he DID know. With how much we'd been talking, it just made sense to finally meet. He came for a week in June. He met my best friend and my family, we went to the beach, we went to the skate park where I could fully see him in his element.... and the rest is history. Now I don't slam eHarmony anymore. It's like I put my PERFECT guy down on paper and they gave him to me...plus so much more.

The night that he first arrived in Oregon, we went to the Olive Garden, my favorite place to eat. There was no awkwardness, no lapse in conversation. Again, it was like we'd known each other forever. He made me laugh like no one ever has. He was so funny and had me in stitches nearly every second. But the thing is, he's also really sweet. He remembers the little details about me. And when he does something for me including those details, he just makes me melt. A month before we met, he sent me orchids, my all time favorite flowers. I never tell guys that though because I know they are expensive and I feel bad if they get them for me. He asked me one night on the phone and I told him lilies, which are really my second favorite. I think he sensed something though and he proceeded to call my best friend on the subject, knowing full well she probably knew what my favorites really were. And of course, she had no problem telling him, and lo and behold, orchids arrived the next week. I could not have been more excited.

Well after him coming to Oregon for a week, I knew I wanted to see where he lived. So I went to Durango the week after he left Oregon! I had so much fun exploring the small town and meeting his wonderful and accepting family. I went back home thinking it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Tony and I talked a lot on the phone about me potentially moving there and if it could really work. Well, we dotted our i's and crossed our t's and made it happen. He was to fly in on August 9th and we would drive back with a moving truck. Kimberly and I went to pick him up at the airport that Saturday in August. We went back to the house and packed everything in the truck. He then told me he had a surprise for me. He said it was a birthday present (since my birthday was the 6th, just a few days before). But I hate opening gifts in front of people (don't ask, it's just a weird thing of mine), so I was really hesitant. And stubborn. It took me a long time to finally go to my room, where he said it was located. He basically pushed me and had me reach out my hand behind me to grab whatever was on the bed. I did and when I brought it around, it was an empty ring box. It took me a minute to figure out why I was holding it, empty, when all of a sudden, he was on one knee holding the ring up to me, telling me the didn't want to go back with his girlfriend, he wanted to go back with his fiancee. I, of course, said yes! My best friend knew all along and her and her boyfriend at the time, Addison, came over immediately to congratulate us. We then got together with all my friends and went to dinner so that I could say good bye to them and we could announce our engagement. The next morning, we took off for Durango, ready to start a new chapter in our lives.



3.01.2010

3 + 4 + 2 = 9


Blended. That's my family. One big group of blended craziness. When I was 6, I experienced my first major tragedy. My mom passed away from cancer. She had a brain tumor. I know I was young but it deeply affected me. I honestly don't remember much of my mom. I remember Disneyland, birthday parties, and the boots she gave me, which I still have. I remember Full House and The Price is Right. I remember horses. I remember her being sick. Very sick. I remember being at Kelsey Evans' house and making her get-well cards. I remember the hospital. I remember the smells, the sounds, the knowledge that she would probably die. And it's unfortunate that what I remember most about my time with her was the negative side of things where everything started to go downhill. And it hurts my heart to think about what things would have been like had she remained alive. On that fateful day in September, my dad lost a wife and my brother and I lost a mother.


My parents, Lyndon and Tanna, had me, a daughter, and my brother Travis, a son. Travis and I immediately became very close to my mom's parents, our beloved grandparents, Bill and Edith. And we remain extremely close to this day. I don't know what I would do without them. After my mom passed away, we lived with them for a while because my dad had to work. One day, my dad told us he had met someone very special. Her name was Cheryl and as it turned out, she would later become our step-mom. After dating for a little while, my dad asked her to marry him. She obviously accepted. At the time, I thought it was way too soon for everybody involved and to this day, I still feel that way somewhat. Maybe a little bit more time would have helped my step-mom and I develop a better relationship. I feel like since I was so young, I was kind of thrown into the whole situation without much of an option. Had I been a little older, I might have understood more of what was going on and maybe would have had more time to be comfortable with her in my own terms and fully understand what was going to happen. She already had 3 kids of her own so Travis and I gained 2 older sisters, Tera and Karissa, and 1 older brother, Erik. It was nice to have more kids to play with but to look at it in terms of being a "family," well, I just couldn't fathom that quite yet. A lot of it probably went right over my head or maybe I just didn't focus too long on it but I let everything slide and went along with all that was happening. We ended up moving all of us out to a bigger new house. I remember feeling weird that day but also excited. Maybe this would be pretty cool. Everything was fine for a while....until I started having nightmares and thoughts of my mom when I was about 11. I think that's when it really hit me. I questioned everything. I asked why did she have to die, why my dad had to get married again, why everything was different. It was a very hard time for me emotionally. I eventually got over that but I think my relationship with my step-mom was seriously cracked then. It's never really fully been repaired either. I think it was due to a few things: I feel like I was a daddy's girl and all of a sudden my step-mom was his new girl; I didn't want anyone to take my mom's place; and I think sometimes my dad would take my side on some things and my mom would get jealous of it. And I have made mistakes in my life, due to these feelings, things I wish I could take back. I think I exhibited that behavior to get my dad's attention. Yes, I know that wasn't the way to go about it but maybe that was MY way of going about it. I have grown up a lot since those days now and I have learned to come to terms with how our family is and I have accepted it. No more reacting in an inappropriate way. I hope everyone knows how sorry I am for some rough times I have put people through but by going through a couple things in the past 2 years myself, I have figured out a lot of why I behaved that way. I have moved on from those things and I'm ready to just have a nice life now. Those are my thoughts. Anyway, I spent as much time as I could at my grandparent's house after our family mixed together because that is where I felt most comfortable and safe. There was a lot going on behind the scenes that I won't get into here but it was stuff going on between all of us siblings.


Then my parents decided to get into Foster Care. It was hard. Very hard. Babies and kids would come in our house and then just leave and it was hard to deal with. Eventually though, a little boy and a little girl came to live with us - and we ended up adopting them! There's no way I can ever imagine my life without them now. Josh and Lia are the reason why I want kids so much. I had a big part in raising them because I babysat them A LOT. I have a very special bond with both of them.

So that's 3 grief-stricken individuals coupled with 4 people looking for stability with 2 youngins thrown into the mix to make one big group of 9 well-knit characters! Some days it's hard, some days it's wonderful, but no matter what, I feel blessed to have the family I do.


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