Remembering

Today I finally got to meet Jennifer! Her boyfriend's sister is expecting a baby girl in February and I had some formula I wasnt using so I gave it to her. Jennifer is someone I met (well, met online, I guess) through Shaun, in a way. Most of you know what happened a few years ago but for those of you who dont, Shaun was a boy that I met in 2008, dated in 2009, and was by his side when he passed away, also in 2009. It was a very difficult time for me, not only because we all lost a wonderful young man, but also because I was there and it was a bit traumatizing. We had taken a fun-filled road trip to Phoenix that weekend and it happened totally unexpectedly. So not only did that happen, but I had to drive his car back to Colorado with all of his belongings in it to his mom. It was rough to be alone on that journey back but ultimately, I didnt want his mom to have to go pick it up herself. She didnt need that after everything that happened. It was all kind of a fluke accident and to this day, I dont really know what happened. I guess a couple medicines were taken together that shouldnt have been. It definitely was not on purpose; it was a total accident. But I woke up to it, called 911, and tried to do what I could with the operator telling me what to do on the phone. By the time the medics got there though, it was too late. After lots of questions and moving to a different room for the night (it was already too late in the day to start heading back, especially after all the emotional upheaval), I was so tired.

It was actually a bit weird because Shaun and I had gone to see a comedian the night before he passed and we met this lady there who was trying to sell us on a timeshare situation. Of course, we werent really interested, but we listened to her politely, and she said she hoped to see us at a breakfast meeting the next day. Well, then what happened, happened, and I completely forgot about it. She ended up calling me after the police and ambulance left and I was in my new room. She was wondering why we didnt come, so I told her what happened and she immediately came over to the hotel and took me to dinner, practically forcing me to eat. It was amazing though because I didnt know anyone in Phoenix. I had never even been there before that weekend, so I was completely alone. However, it was great because then I had company and I was able to talk to someone about how great Shaun was. I ended up heading home the next day, and while it was a rough ride (I had never even driven his car before then), I made it and I stayed with his mom for a while that evening. I have a really great relationship with his mother and for that I am thankful. She is so wonderful. We had his funeral service over Memorial Day weekend (which I thought was fitting) and my dad even came out to Colorado to attend the service to be supportive.

Shaun's mom always told me that as hard as it was, she felt content knowing that he was happy that last weekend. She had received a call from him the night before, telling her all about how much fun he was having. And we had taken lots of pictures there, so I was able to give those to her and she could see his happiness radiating through them. She was also glad I was there, despite me having to go through that; she was happy someone was just there with him. 

I always thought the timing of everything was a bit ironic; I had met Tony in February of 2008 on eHarmony (officially met in June 2008) and then I moved to Colorado in August of that year. Shaun actually worked for one of the Hermesman businesses (the first place I worked at for them) and that's how we met. There was nothing between us as I was so obviously smitten with Tony. But then Tony and I broke up in February of 2009 because we didnt have time for each other with all the businesses. That's when Shaun and I started hanging out more (he then worked a different place not owned by the Hermesmans) and we got closer. We started "dating" at the end of March and then he passed away in May. After months of working nonstop (because there was nothing else I could do) and grieving / moving on, Tony and I ended up getting back together in October. Then, of course, we got engaged in March of 2010, married in October, and had baby girl in September of 2011. It's crazy how far we've come in that amount of time. I cant believe it will be 3 years next May since Shaun passed away. Time really does fly. I never expected 3 years ago that I would be where I am now. I know now that I was ultimately supposed to end up with Tony (he is my love and I know that wholeheartedly), but I almost feel like Tony and I were supposed to have that break so that I could be there with Shaun. I am glad I could make him happy but I'm still sad about the situation. He had lots of plans and he loved life. He was very intelligent, funny, and a blast to hang out with. I know he is in a better place and that he is fondly remembered and loved by lots of people. I'm also glad that I can share his story and that I have the honor of that. 

So anyway, after he passed, lots of his friends from all over the world (I'm not even exaggerating; he traveled a whole lot and touched lives everywhere he went) started reaching out to me and Jennifer was one of them. Well, after Tony and I moved back to Oregon last year, I learned she was moving here as well with her boyfriend! Well, we finally met today and I hope I get to hang out with her more! She's so nice and always has been. 

That whole experience had so many ups and downs, but I'm ultimately thankful because it taught me so much about myself and life. Shaun was truly an inspiration and I will always remember him.