Wait - I Thought I was Done?

Lately I've been saying how I'm so done being pregnant. And in truth, I am - physically, I guess. I know that after baby girl gets here, I will not only be recovering but I will also be dead tired from having a new little one at home and getting used to her needs - and that will be exhausting in it's own way; but I'm really looking forward to getting some of my energy back that has disappeared since I've been preggo (especially within the last couple months). I cant wait to be able to bend over and pick something up off the floor with ease, to clean my house without my lower back aching (darn you, dishes and laundry!), to run around with her when she starts getting older, and many other things. I feel like I'm disabled or way beyond my years, so frankly, I cant wait to get back to feeling like I'm in my early 20's, which is where I am. 

BUT.

And this is where it gets interesting..... I dont want her to leave my tummy! I'm now at the point (less than 2 weeks away) from Anistynn making her appearance and all I can think about is the bonding that we've already gone through. I know there is so much more to come, so many joys and trials, so many successes and mistakes, so many tears that are made up for in a bounty of laughter. But right now, she has spent the last 9 months inside me, growing into who she is going to be - a real little person! She's not just a fantasy anymore; not a hypothetical situation; not a dream - she is real and she will be here SOON. Tony and I cannot wait to meet her, to see what she looks like, to put an image to her that we've been trying to picture for the last 9  months. I cannot express how stoked we are to become parents. But once she is here, I can only protect her so much. I feel so close to her right now - she is with me 24/7 around the clock and I can protect and take good care of her. But once she gets here, it's a whole other story! I know I'll learn - heck, I had to learn to make sure to really take care of myself and be more aware of what's going around me just by being pregnant. I'm sure I will adjust, learn, and succeed at being a mother. But that doesnt stop me from being terrified. This is a little human who is counting on me to keep her alive and take care of her because she is not able to do so herself. It's a huge responsibility and I must admit it's a bit frightening - but I'm confident that with how much I love her now, I can only love her a million times more once she's actually here and you can bet I'd do anything for that little girl. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I'm excited to be done with pregnancy and feeling somewhat miserable, and I'm excited to see what Tony and I have created, I'm just sad that it's almost over and she has to leave her safe little cocoon. 

I pray for God to give me strength in 3 areas: in the final stages of pregnancy, in the birth of my daughter, and the ability and courage to learn how to be a good mom.