I'm Ready To Talk

So yesterday was hard for me. We finally moved our bedroom furniture over to our new place. While I'm glad that's over and done with (it's intense to move a king size Tempurpedic bed), it now means we are officially staying at our new apartment now. Last night was our first night here. It's miserable because of the heat. It was in the 90's yesterday and as I've mentioned before, there is no air conditioning here. We are allowed to purchase an AC unit for the window but we are only allowed to have them up May - September. So it's not even worth it to go spend $200 or more right now anyway. My only hope is that it will get slightly better next week because I wont be pregnant anymore. And maybe, just maybe, the weather will cool down a bit. I'm craving rain and cooler weather actually. I'm so over summer. Fall and winter are my favorite times of the year anyway so I really cant wait to feel cooler weather, be in a cozy and decorated home, and the holidays. It just gives me such a warm feeling.

So yesterday morning Tony and some of his friends helped move the rest of our furniture over. Then I went to church while Tony went to work. It was nice to see everyone but of course everyone was asking about baby girl. It just kept reiterating how close this whole thing actually is to happening. After church, Josh and Lia came over and went swimming since we have a pool here at the apartment complex. They had fun. I didnt go though because it was so dang hot that I couldnt stand to be outside. Then again, I couldnt really stand to be inside either! It was just so hot. I finished organizing some baby stuff and just tried to get things into place. However, when you're 9 months pregnant and you're flipping hot as heck, it's a little harder. I was soooo uncomfortable. I finally started to feel better when I got in my air conditioned car to head over to Clackamas to go to dinner with my family at the Macaroni Grill. That was nice (thank you, dad!) and it was great to be in a cooler environment. But once Tony and I got back home last night, I just broke down. There are 3 reasons why I'm having such a hard time here:

1) SPIDERS. They are freaking everywhere. They're lurking all around outside, it's disgusting. And I've already found at least 6 in here since we've been here. You'd think that because everything was cleaned out and there were no places to hide that they wouldnt be around. But no. There's been at least one on the wall or whatever every time I have come over. For those of you that know me, this is my absolute number one fear. I'm terrified of spiders. The whole time we were living at our old place, I never saw a spider, not once. It was so nice not to worry about that for so long.... Now I'm all freaked out! 

2) HEAT. I think I've made myself pretty clear on that one.

3) DISCOMFORT. Not just because of the spiders and the heat. I just havent been here long enough and I'm not comfortable. And with all the newness coming up this weekend (surgery, recovery, hospital stay, breastfeeding, newborn baby girl, and then coming back to a new place that I'm still not used to) is just a little overwhelming. 

Sigh.

I'm really really trying to remain calm but I know I'm inwardly stressing. It's just such a big life change, responsibility, and blessing all at the same time. And now my thoughts are turning toward wondering if I'm going to be a good  mom. I know all new moms freak out about that at some point during their pregnancy and now is my time. I've thought about it throughout but now it's really hitting home. I hope I can be everything she needs and more. I already love her so much - I just want what's best for her. 

When Tony gets home today, we're going to finish putting up the decor in our bedroom and bathrooms. We're going to grab the rest of our stuff from our old place. We might sell our entertainment center (hopefully!) - which reminds me yet again... If you know of anyone interested in what we're selling, please let us know! I'll post another blog detailing everything we have left. Prices are negotiable. We are officially out of our old place on the 20th so these things need to be gone because we dont have room at our new place or at our storage unit for them. 

This week I'll be receiving a couple more baby things in the mail, I need to visit my grandparents, and I need to make sure all bills are paid through this month so I dont have to worry about it after baby girl gets here. I just want to focus on her as much as I can without all these other distractions. So if things are mainly set up at home with baby stuff easily accessible, bills are paid, things are sold or taken care of, and hopefully some rest is achieved, maybe I'll go into the hospital a bit calmer this Friday. 4 DAYS!