Anistynn had her 2 week check up today with the pediatrician. And the appointment was a tough one for this mama. First of all, her weight is down. Enough so that we have to do a little bit of supplementing. When we first took her in last week, she was almost back up to her birth weight and today she was down several ounces. I had to do a double take when I heard her weight because I've been feeding her like crazy! She's definitely been eating a lot more (and especially more since the hospital, where she was really sleepy and learning to eat and whatnot). It's usually every 2 hours, if not sooner. And she eats for like 45 minutes, sometimes an hour or more! I have used the pump a little bit to test it out and see what that was like and so that we could have some bottles on hand if we were ever out for long periods of time, I wasnt going to be around for whatever reason and Tony was going to feed her, or for when we eventually leave her with grandma and grandpa or something, she would have bottles. I also wanted to introduce her to bottles earlier rather than later so that she could hopefully go back and forth - and that she wouldnt have a problem with bottles when we left her with someone else or when she finally made a full transition to bottles. Anyway, I wasnt getting very much from pumping though. I was a little concerned so I looked it up and it said on countless websites that each woman was different and it was normal to pump anywhere from 1 - 2 ounces at a time to 8 ounces! So quite a range, but that made me feel a little better. Well, until we went in to her appointment today. You have no idea how much I felt like a failure at that moment. I cant even feed my child right?? I mean, I guess I know it's not my fault entirely but I'm her mother and it hit me hard. It's my job to feed her and apparently it's not enough. Dr. Eki told me not to worry at all and that I was a doing a great job and that it definitely didnt make me a bad parent - perhaps I just dont have a good let down or a good milk production. He was slightly worried because at this point, babies should be back up to their birth weight. So he gave us some formula to supplement. We are supposed to give it to her after I feed her normally, keep track of how many wet diapers she has, and take her in again tomorrow to check her weight and see if it's gone up at all. Anistynn also got her heel pricked today and since she was wide awake when they did it, she cried a bit. It killed me to see her crying like that, with her little lips pursed in the saddest pout you've ever seen. Plus, when they were weighing her, she was crying because the nurse's hands were cold. Anistynn also doesnt like being unclothed so she was crying over that too. It was just really hard for me.
Hopefully this food thing works - I already feel bad enough. Maybe I shouldnt take it so personally but I cant help it; I only want what's best for her and I want to give her everything, the world. So to not be able to give her enough food from me personally is a little hard to hear.
We are also meeting with our life insurance agent tonight to put Anistynn on our policies. It's something I dont like to think about at all but it's something to take care of. It will be good to have that taken care of and out of the way so there's no worries with that.
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