8.27.2011

What A Ridiculous Day

Today was one emotional roller coaster ride! We woke up this morning excited to get started on the moving process; after all, we've been waiting a couple of weeks to get into our apartment. However, I woke up feeling a bit nauseous so I popped a Zofran, ate some cereal, and hopped in the shower. Because I was feeling a bit sick this morning, we got a later start, which put us about 30 minutes behind schedule (we planned on being at the office at 10 AM but didnt get there until about 10:30). Josh and Tony loaded up some furniture and whatnot into the truck while I got ready. We headed out the door (me in pjs and wet hair with no make up on) and arrived at the office to sign all the paperwork. After going over our lease and all the necessary info (and the handing over of checks), we got our keys and made our way over to our new place. Upon first inspection, I was a little hesitant. After looking around, I became truly disappointed. True, I knew it was a downsize from our current place but for some reason, it looked even smaller than I remembered. There is definitely enough space for us three (Tony, me, and baby) but I started to fret about a few things. Plus, the unit we saw was opposite the one we're actually in (everything is flipped around) and while that may not seem like something to get in a tiff over, it really threw me off and it didnt feel right. Everything I had imagined was on the right side and now suddenly it's on the left. It looks totally different to me so I have to get used to it being this other way. Some of the things didnt seem as nice as the one we saw before so that got me down as well. But something that really bugged me was the sliding glass door in the master bedroom. I'm not really too fond of that - I feel it's scary and unsafe. We're on the ground floor, with just a small fence surrounding the patio that someone can easily hop over and we're right on the other side. But I'll try to figure out some way to make myself feel better about that. My dad and Lia stopped by to help unload a truckload of things and when they were done and just about to leave, I left the living room where everyone was talking and went into the master bathroom to sit on the edge of the tub and cry. I dont know why really, it just all built up at once and I just couldnt hold it in. Everything is almost too much - moving into a new place, packing and unpacking, switching all our accounts and changing our address on everything, trying to get used to a new place and some things not being up to what I was imagining, continuing to prepare for baby girl, my potential C - Section and trying to come to terms with that, etc. SIGH. I feel like I need to sleep everything away for like 2 years. 

I know I may seem petty but whatever - I'm not going to apologize for my feelings or emotions - plus I know I'm probably just more emotional because of the hormones and the knowledge that my life is about to change dramatically. I'm constantly thinking about Anistynn and her safety and so I'm just a little overwhelmed with trying to prepare everything for her arrival as much as I can. 

So anyway, after my emotional breakdown, we headed back to our other place and I got directions to my appointment I had this afternoon. After getting everything I needed (or so I thought) I headed to Portland. After driving for a bit, I realized I didnt have my wallet so I had to turn around and go back and get it. I was running late again (when I left the first time, I would have just barely made my appointment time) so I was a little frustrated. My hair was all crazy and frizzy since I hadnt been able to dry it this morning and I still hadnt been able to splash an ounce of make up on. After retrieving my wallet, I sped toward Portland... which probably wasnt a swell idea seeing as how I got pulled over about 10 minutes from my destination (but hey, at least I had my wallet with my license in it, huh?). Luckily I didnt get a ticket because I was pregnant (lol) and I said I had to pee really bad and was trying to find a good place to run in to use the bathroom. The officer was really nice and let me go fairly quickly. But still. It was just once more thing.. I finally got to the salon and proceeded to have a manicure, pedicure, and hair cut from the lovely Miss Shannon. It was fairly nice and relaxing so that was the high point of my day. 

After getting pampered, I drove over to Hawthorne to water the plants of one of my clients and then I headed home. Now I'm just waiting for Tony to get home from biking with Josh downtown. I'm sooo ready to call it a day and go to bed. Tomorrow is my baby shower, so I'm looking forward to that and hopefully it will be fun. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope that I can start feeling a little bit better about everything. I'm sure once we make more progress on decorating and arranging the apartment that it will sit better with me. In the meantime, I just need to breathe and survive.

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