And That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles...: He's Seen Better Days...

Today was my grandpa's birthday. He turned 82 years old. Sadly, he's probably had better birthdays.

I havent had a chance to blog about this yet but for those of you who are my friends on Facebook, you know some of what has been going on. First off, let me remind you that my grandparents are amazing people. They have always been there for my brother, Travis, and I since birth. My mom (their daughter) passed away when I was 6 years old and my brother and I have been their life since then. Funny, because they've been ours too. Most of my best memories are with them or at their house. From reading the comics with my grandpa and countless books to my grandma, to singing to my grandma and dancing around the living room, to organizing all of their cards (I told you I had a card obsession!!), to ranch corn nuts, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, pizza, and mashed potatoes, to watching scary movies and Lifetime movies with my grandma, to riding bikes in the backyard, to going out for Chinese food, to Home Improvement, Reba, Full House, and Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction?, to long conversations and them ALWAYS listening and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS supporting our every endeavor, there are a million more memories just like that, that fill my mind and make me smile. They have always been some of my best friends. Period.

Within the last few years (after I moved to Colorado in 2008), she started showing signs. Slight memory loss, repeating things in a conversation, etc. When I moved back to Oregon in 2010, it got a little worse. Not remembering what I had just said moments before, not really having a conversation because she kept asking me how I was doing, and never picking up the phone to call me anymore. Over the past year, it's definitely evident that my grandma, someone who has been an amazing woman, wife, mother, grandmother, and individual, now has Alzheimer's, a disease which makes you lose your memory, piece by piece. It makes you reliant on others. It makes you lose your sense of self and worth. To put it bluntly, it sucks. For everyone involved. I know it's been hard on my grandma, of course. When it first started, I could see that she almost knew what was going on but she couldnt control it. It was heartbreaking. It's tough on my grandpa - emotionally, mentally, and physically. He is 82 years old and still works 6 days a week from 4 AM - 10 AM. He just had surgery recently and he's still taking care of my grandma. I have tried to help as much as possible - I went over there for a while in the mornings while my grandpa was at work (she cant be left alone now). So yes, that means I was getting up, with Anistynn, at 3 every morning. After doing that for a week, I just couldnt anymore because of the baby. My grandma is at the point where you have to watch her and attend to her and my baby needs that also. I cant fully focus on either of them and it's not fair to the both of them. I hated to have to tell my grandpa I didnt think I could continue doing it because of Anistynn's needs (I didnt think it was best for her to get up so early either - she's a really great sleeper already and I didnt want to upset her schedule permanently and when I took her over there, she stayed up from 3:30 in the morning - with only short naps throughout the day - to being miserable at night because she was overtired). I hated it doing it because I felt like I was failing my grandparents. After all, they have always been there for me and this is my time to be there for them. But I do have to do what's right by my babe and my grandpa totally understands that. I continued to go on Sundays (because Tony didnt work, so I could leave Anistynn at home), stay there all morning, and then go pick up Tony and Anistynn for church. It was a long day but it was fine. Well recently, Tony has been involved with some real estate stuff so he's been busy on Sundays, forcing me to care for Anistynn thus making it not so easy to go over there. But we still visit as often as we can (Anistynn brightens their day and I know it) and I still go over with the baby on Mondays for sessions regarding the caretakers of Alzheimer's patients and any other meetings that concern my grandma. I'm still trying to be as involved as possible. I've even read to her (just like I used to all the time) for hours at a time. I know she doesnt completely follow the storyline, but it's a peaceful time for both of us.

It's obviously to the point where my grandma should probably be placed in a home where she can be taken care of. Dont get me wrong, I, just like everyone else, dont want her to leave her home, but her needs are becoming too much. My grandpa, stubborn as he is (and as in love with her as he is), does not like that idea. Which is why she is still at home. But I think it's finally taking it's last toll on him. He is so tired after being up all night because she is restless, going to work at 4 AM, coming home at 10 AM, cleaning up any of her messes, taking care of her in other ways, and constantly running around after her to make sure she is okay. He already had to put alarms on the doors so she doesnt wander outside, take the buttons off of the stove so she doesnt try to cook and burn herself or the house down, and put paper over the garage door buttons so she doesnt go out that way either. Currently, my grandpa takes care of her 24/7 (I mean, come on, it's an all day job for sure), my uncle (their son) lives with them and helps out when he's not working, my grandpa has hired a family friend to come Monday - Thursday to help watch my grandma for 3 -4 hours each day so my grandpa can either run errands or take a nap, and Tony, Anistynn, Travis, and I visit as often as we can. Family friends, David and Christie, have helped out SO much with getting critical papers filed for them, accompanying them to doctor's appointments, bringing them communion every Sunday since they havent been able to attend church recently, and visiting.

This whole situation is hard but I think my grandpa is finally realizing what may be coming soon in the future and that is a placement. It's difficult to not see the grandma I have known all my life, to not be able to talk to her like I always have, to have to be right there while she holds her great grandchild, because it's just too unpredictable. It's hard to see her not act like my grandma. If she's placed, she will still have tons of visitors - no worries about that. But I get that's not easy in the slightest.

I ask for prayers for our family, and especially my grandpa because he is so tired. He puts her and her needs above his own and that is taking a toll on his health and it's not good. He needs more rest, he really does. He's emotional about it, which is to be expected, as they've been married since they were 17 years old! He's never had to deal with this kind of thing and it's so hard for him. I pray nightly about this situation, praying to God that it all works out like it should in the best way possible please.

I'm thankful that no matter what, they were both able to be at my wedding, know my husband, come to the hospital for the birth of their first great grandchild, and continue to see Anistynn growing and learning, before this situation really got bad. I'm so so thankful.

I'm sorry this is a long post but there are really not enough words to talk about how important they are to me. I'd like to share some pictures from the past and then a couple from recent months, as well as today - my grandpa's birthday.

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