Well, That Was Difficult.

So tonight I went out for the first time since I had Anistynn. It's been about 3 weeks since I had her. I kept going back and forth all day (all week actually) on if I really wanted to go. But my brothers convinced me (kind of forced me actually) so I went to the movies with them and my sister. I was only gone 2 hours but I wish I didnt go - I missed my baby girl so much!!!! The movie sucked too. Blahhh. It was fun hanging out with my siblings though. But it just felt weird to be without my baby. She stayed back with Tony (who also forced me to go) and Lia. As soon as I got back, I rushed over to her to make sure she was okay. It took me forever to leave in the first place, too. I kept telling her I wasnt leaving for good. Haha. I know, overkill, but still - she's my baby! 

It's a wonder how I used to do so many things before and now they're just not as important. I'd much rather stare at my baby all day and watch her adorable expressions. I dont want to miss a minute of her because she will be getting bigger and older every second. 

I know it's good for my mind, body, and soul to get out and do stuff for myself every once in a while and for Tony and I still to have time to ourselves when we can find it. But I guess I feel it's still early; it's not like I've been sitting at home with her every day for a year. It's only been about 3 weeks. And we've been out and about as a family doing things: going shopping, eating, running errands, going to appointments, attending family events, church, etc. So we're not all cooped up at home. But I feel I can wait a bit before I start going insane needing time to myself haha. Although, our anniversary is coming up.....

:)

Gaining!

Since we have been supplementing with some formula, Anistynn's weight has continued to go up. We've been taking her in to the pediatrician's office every 2 days to get her weighed. She was up 2 ounces today, which means an ounce a day. Dr. Eki said that was great. But it also states that we indeed need to supplement for her to gain weight. Apparently, I just cannot produce enough. This makes me sad, but again, I will do whatever is best for Anistynn, and that means supplementing so that she can put on some pounds! We actually tried only breastfeeding one day and she went down an ounce, so we know we've got to continue supplementing. It makes me sad that I cant be fully what she needs, but Dr. Eki said this happens with lots of mothers and it's not my fault, nor does it make me a bad mother. I admit that sometimes I think that, even though I have no control over it. I was actually using a pump too so that I could see what I would be giving to Anistynn and it's really not much. It varies daily, but I guess I just have low production?? Anyway, Dr. Eki gave us a couple options: 1) breastfeed and then supplement; 2) pump and give her the expressed milk and then supplement; 3) or just switch over to complete formula. He mentioned that if we continue to use a bottle with the supplements (which we'll have to do regardless), she might eventually not want to breastfeed anymore so I'd need to prepare for that. If I decided to just pump, I'd have to do it every 2 -3 hours and with baby's schedule so up in the air, there's no guarantee that Icould even do that. And I know it wont be enough to rely on to get her through the whole day. 

Before I had her, I was always wary of breastfeeding. I know it's a natural thing to do but I was really nervous about it, which I'm sure is a normal feeling. But after I had her, it wasnt near as weird or bad as I thought it was going to be and truthfully, it hurt me to know that I couldnt give her fully what she needs from me alone. But I'm not so dead set on it that I'm freaking out about giving her formula. I know plenty of babies who were formula-fed that turned out just fine. So if we had to eventually go to that only, I would be okay. But for now, I will continue to do all three: I will breastfeed, pump, and use formula. As long as she wants to breastfeed, I will let her do it if she asks for it. Right now, it kind of seems like she gets a little from it, but mostly she uses me as a pacifier. It's probably mainly a comfort thing. She drinks fine out of a bottle and I've been pumping as often as I can. We then switch out between expressed milk and formula. If she eventually stops breastfeeding, I will probably continue to pump every so often so she can at least have some breast milk. We'll just take it day by day.

As long as she's gaining like she needs to, I'll be a happy mama!

Meal Train

I just wanted to say thanks to all the wonderful people who brought us meals these last 2 weeks. You have all been a big support. We appreciated it so much and we appreciate YOU! :)

Recap:

~ Jeff Deatherage & Caitlin Pollastro: meatloaf, green beans, peaches, and chocolate cake!

~ Shannon & Gina Amburn: Meatball soup, pear salad, and french bread!

~ Terrence & Rachel Paschal: mexican stuffed bell peppers, mexican salad, tortilla chips, and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies!

~ Lewis & Alpha Robinson: lasagna, garlic french bread, and ceasar salad!

~ Robby & Lynsey Wells: soup, chips, and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies!

And a special thank you to Rachel (mentioned above) who coordinated everything! It was very thoughtful. She used this nifty site - Meal Train - to set everything up. If you ever have a friend or family in need, this would be a great tool to use! 

We really enjoyed eating all the wonderful food everyone brought us and it really helped us out while we were adjusting to baby girl's needs! THANK YOU!

We're Getting There!

I had my 2 week postpartum check up today. 

Diagnosis: healthy! :)

I've been talking lately about how I've been feeling pretty good and how I seem to be healing fairly quickly. I'm still taking it easy and not overdoing myself on anything because I want to make sure that I heal fully and properly - so I still wont be lifting anything heavy or doing any major housework or activity until about the first week of November. Then that will have been the full 6 weeks of healing the doctors told me it would take. So today when I went in to meet with Dr. Hatfield, she was telling me that I was looking great and I was just where I needed to be, if not ahead. Everything is healing properly and looks good. My blood pressure is great. I'm not having to take the pain meds as much (mostly just Ibuprofen now) which is good. She recommended that I still take it easy over the next 4 weeks but that she's really happy with how well everything went: healthy baby girl, quick recovery, and general good health. I got a flu shot today too (Tony will be getting one this weekend) - so we are covered with that. I've also lost 21 pounds! I gained 30 during pregnancy and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have to say though, it still sounds like a lot to me because I've never fluctuated with weight really. So to hear that I lost 21 pounds is both awesome and surreal at the same time! Haha. That leaves me with about 9 pounds left and my doctor said that more might come off just by breastfeeding and by continuing to heal fully throughout the next 4 weeks. So yay! I cant wait to start running again though - I have missed it. Depending on the weather, I will do it as often as I can. I know we are going into winter so there may not be as many chances to, but I will also take advantage of the 24 hour fitness center we have here at the complex. I'd like to do some toning up! I'll have another appointment in 4 weeks for my 6 week check up and that should be it!

We took Anistynn to the pediatrician to get weighed again and (insert sigh here), she lost 2 ounces. We ran out of the formula they gave us last night so she didnt have any supplement today. This tells us that she'll still need to be supplemented. So that's what we will continue to do.

I got a photo from our photography session yesterday and I LOVE it! I cant wait to get the disc next week so I can share them all with you!

We also received the wooden letters for the nursery today, as well as How I Met Your Mother season 6! Oh, and we got the glider and ottoman for the nursery as well. It's really coming together!

We Have A Little Anne Geddes Baby On Our Hands!

We got some more "newborn" pictures of Anistynn done today. I really wanted some artsy newborn type shots so the photographer took a bunch of her in her little birthday suit with cute headbands on fluffy blankets and whatnot. There are also ones in a basket that I really like. We also took a couple more family pics, as well. We'll be receiving those in about a week and I will post them when I get them! Being that Anistynn is a baby, the shoot took a long time to get the perfect shots, so we were there for almost 4 hours. Anistynn is pretty great - we had two photo shoots in two days and she wasnt fussy at all. Although.... we had our first attack of the poop monster. We fed her during the 4 hour shoot and right when we were on the last set of photos, she pooped. It. Was. Hilarious. We had just done a family shot and I had handed her to Tony for a father / daughter picture and she pooped on him and the floor!! Tony handled it with ease - he was great; a real trooper. It was only a matter of time. But you know what? Anistynn was great because it was impeccable timing. She didnt pee or poop the whole time (3 1/2 hours) until that moment. She had been on numerous fuzzy blankets, beautiful fabrics, baskets, and a white crocheted blanket for our family shot. I had literally just taken her out of the blanket and handed her to Tony when she just exploded. I kept cracking up. She was asleep the whole time too so she looked so peaceful. I really just cant even describe it - you had to be there. 

After that we went to my parent's house to celebrate my sister Karissa (or as I call her, Kous Kous) on being sober for 6 months. Congrats to her - that is huge!! :) We all had a great time and I got to catch up with a lot of family members and friends. Here are some pics from the night:

Gosh, I love my sweet angel so much!

October

It's finally October - YAY! I adore it. I love fall and winter. It's my favorite time of year. And it will be extra special and extra fun this year because we get to celebrate with our adorable little girl! Halloween will be her first holiday which is fitting because her mommy loves it! :) We're going to Spirit tomorrow to look at baby costumes. Since it's October now, that means it's time to get out the Halloween tub and decorate! So fun! I love getting and putting up decorations. Tony and I always get a few new things each year to add to our Halloween decor collection; it's something we've been doing since we first met and got together back in 2008. It's a nice tradition. 

Today we went and got pictures done of Anistynn (and a few family ones too). I'll post them here:

I love her little fist pump in the first one. The second one is my favorite. The stuffed cat is one we got at a local shop in Durango. I love it - it's so vintage looking. And I just have to give a shout out to Bonnie (Tony's grandma and Anistynn's great (and I mean great in more than one sense of the word!!) grandma, for making the pink hat that Anistynn is wearing in one of the photos and for the preciously soft blanket that my good friend, Dana, gave me at my baby shower, used in another photo. Finally, look at those little feet in the last photo - we saw them in the ultrasound - I cant believe I can finally see them in "real life" and play with them all the time! =]

* Oh and just because I'm sure some are wondering.... Dont worry, we ordered some prints and when we pick them up (October 13th) we'll give / send them to you right away (this means YOU, grandpa and grandma - Lyndon and Cheryl, great grandma and grandpa - Bonnie and Ted,  grandpa and grandma - Ted and Irina, great grandpa and granny - Bill and Edith, great grandma and grandpa - Doris and Bob, great grandma - Shirley, great grandma - Suzanne, and great grandpa - Thom!!